Hirokache

This past Friday night into Saturday morning I felt horrible. I stayed in bed for a long time on Saturday, awake for much of it. Everytime I would consider getting out of bed, I would ask myself what was the point, feeling that I wouldn't be able to accomplish anything anyway. That led to rather strong feelings of wishing I could cease existing without causing problems for anyone else in the process. Not a normal state of mind for me, to say the least. Eventually I did somehow drag myself out of bed by finding some trivial annoyance to dwell on and make me angry. That didn't actually drown out the feelings of depression, but did do its job in getting me out of bed. I don't remember what it was that I let myself get angry at though.

Eventually I did decide to have a little bit of coffee that day, as I was supposed to be co-workers for dinner, and I didn't want the shitty mood to continue through that. The co-worker organizing the 'event' has a hookah, so I smoked one for the first time. We went with watermelon tobacco, which was quite tasty. My only problem is that when I have smoke in my mouth, its a reflex to inhale. Of course, it did nothing for me, except make my lungs protest quite a bit at the reintroduction of smoke. Given how much it passed around, there was a lot smoke.

I've had no more coffee (and I believe no more caffeine) since Saturday. This may be turning me back into a morning person ... as a kid I always was. I began to change that my senior year in high school when I would stay up all night playing around on the intarwebs, and completed the change once I started college and began drinking coffee all day and beer all night.